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I did a thing!

My first icon is a VGA gif. :) Using crappy gif and icon makers I'm trying to make icons without photoshop.

It's hawd.

Also I should update more but everytime I say that I dont so... I'll try.


*New* Nintendo BS

Nintendo makes you have to write the little stars around the word "new" to differentiate between the old 3DS and 3DS XL from the old ones. The post before the last I talked about buying the *New* 3DS XL and it was a good system. I loved the bigger screens even though the resolutions wasn't that great. I ended up returning it.

I got the smaller 3DS that Nintendo refuses to release it stand alone. I had to buy it with the Animal Crossing bundle, a game i don't care about. The smaller one was much better for my hands as its weight was way lighter for longer play times. The upper screen doesn't wobble or have clicking sounds when you open and close it unlike the XL. I lament the fact that the European versions have the option of a smaller new 3DS in black. The default white is not that bad because its not pure white but Ivory or beige. I like the customization of cover plates even though I haven't bought cover plates yet.

I was thoroughly enjoying the smaller 3DS until recently when Nintendo and the Pokemon company announced they are planning to release a 20th anniversary Red and Blue Pokemon bundle for that comes with the small *New* 3DS with pre-installed games.

Son of a Bitch!


It's my birthday.
As tradition in our household we took a few pictures then eat cake and pizza. Birthdays have never been big occasions. Sometimes when I was younger I would have wanted a big party with friends, loud music, and fun for hours. As I got older I accepted that it wouldn't be possible due to the fact that I never had more than 2 friends and they weren't the party type or had better things to do.
A good birthday I now know is best shared with people you care about. Also, Pizza, you can never go wrong with pizza on birthdays or any occasion


Black Friday

After many years of wanting a Nintendo Handheld, I will finally get a *New* 3DS LX. Nintendo really should have added a different distinguishing name other than "*New*". I bought it online. I didn't have to brave long lines and rabid customers. I probably should have waited for Cyber Monday but I don't think the price will go any lower than $179.99.
Next order of business, getting Pokemon Alpha Sapphire! Yeah, I'm a Pokemon fan. I've been waiting years to enjoy Pokemon games again. I can't wait to start my Pokemon adventures!


I never know what to write in the journal because I mostly forget to update even if something has happened. This is the reason why I never had had a proper diary. And the fact that in a smalll apartment I couldn't hide anything without it being found. I always say i want to write more and update more but it nevers happens so this time I wont promise anything. 


“That was always the dream, wasn’t it? ‘I wish I’d known then what I know now’? But when you got older you found out that you NOW wasn’t YOU then. You then was a twerp. You then was what you had to be to start out on the rocky road of becoming you now, and one of the rocky patches on that road was being a twerp.”

— Terry Pratchett, Night Watch


Happiness in between the Woe

I suck at journal writing. These past 8 months or so have been so out the the norm in my ilfe that I should have been trying to share it or at least brag about it on all social media platforms. But I haven't because I suck at posting stuff regularly. So the big news is that I got myself a boyfriend. Tee-hee :)

He is amazing, perfect, and he loves me. I couldn't have asked for a better guy to fall in love. Sometimes I feel that I don't deserve his love and admiration. It's my insecurities talking, I know, but I can help feeling that way. It's been 8 months and I can't believe I found someone I can connect with and feel totally comfortable with. The downside to our relationship is that he lives in another country. But its okay we have no rush to see each other. Well we do realy want to see each other but its not financially possible, nor is it not the right time in terms of our current situations. Somehow I hope we will be able to make it happen and meet at soon.

That is my amazing good news. I recenty sent him a ton of gifts that I knew he would love.
I did it because his bithday is coming up soon and he had already sent me two games and a DVD because he has a lot of generous bones in his body. I also send him the gifts because hes given me the best 8 months I've ever had in the past 8 years. I'm so grateful for his love but also for his friendship because he is truly my best friend.

I hopefully we can make it for another 8 months and more. :)

This truth...

FB JK Rowling Trending 2014

“I wrote the Hermione/Ron relationship as a form of wish fulfillment,” she [J.K. Rowling] says. “That’s how it was conceived, really. For reasons that have very little to do with literature and far more to do with me clinging to the plot as I first imagined it, Hermione ended up with Ron.”

Well, ain't that cute. She finally sees the light. I could have told you that ages ago you simple woman! Truthfully, I think she's rich and bored. Every once in a while she says stuff like this to stir shit up again.
Alright, going back to my fortress of solitude to read sexually explicit queer literature for class.

Happy New Years!!

I will update this for New Years because I am determined to have a stable-ish blog for random occurrences. Xanga is no longer around to go to cry in so my permanent LJ will have to do. I don't want to call it a resolution because then I'll never get around to do it.
Well crap...I called it a resolution now. >:(

Something happened back in May that I don't know if I should write it out.
To write it out is to acknowledge the "incident" and that would lead me to into more confusion. Watch out this is going to be a long on.
A guy friend tried to kiss me. I didn't react because I was shocked. He pulled back and I thought "phew he's going to let it go" like he usually does when he does spontaneous affection towards me like a hug or a kiss on the cheek. I've gotten used to the tackle/pounce hugs. He stops when I don't hug back. I usually never hug back. I'm just very bad at hugs and stuff. Missed out on a few hugs as a kid I guess.

I really believed he was going to back off but he didn't.


Did he take some confidence pills? Boost courage shot? Was he recently hit with the sledgehammer of presumption?!?
To me it seems so out of character but it's him after all. Touchy-feeling guy who can not for the life of him stay put.
He is reckless, restless, and confusing. It what I get for hanging out with hippy "change-the-world!" type of guy. Its not a bad thing but its a problem if he wasn't (man, I don't even know) trying to bring back the almost relationship we would have started back in 2006.
Wow, has it been that long! That's like 8 years ago! I need to sit down. Oh wait I already am! lol

So...what did I do when he kissed me again? um, well, I kissed him back. I CANT EVEN! I seriously don't know why.
I want to say it was instinctual but that sounds like It was natural when it was clearly wasn't.
He kissed, I kissed back, he kissed more passionately, I mimicked.
It was my first ever make-out. I sound 16, don't I? Its the truth. My first kiss was less than stellar, but it was with him. Eight years ago! Making-out is completely whole new territory. It still is!
We were making-out for an hour, making me miss my 4pm class.

The things that were going through my head or should I say what was not going through my head. I was a blank.
Whenever his lips were on mine I lost all thought. Not because the kissing was so good. Though it did feel good.
I could not compose a single thought. If I did it was because we needed air, even then my thoughts were about kissing.
Am I kissing correctly?
Is my kissing any good?
Why are you doing this? Why? WHY? WHY???

The hype on kissing is silly totally untrue. I can confirm.
You can not hear, see, or feel the following:
Choir of Angels singing Hallelujah
Fireworks - this included stars, sparks, wildfires, or the fiery pits of hell.
Heart exploding
Stop breathing
Knowing, just by kissing that he/she is "the one".

What I can confirm is that when you kiss someone or at least when I was kissing him it was like being in nothingness.
I was kissing him and I was deaf, blind, and disoriented to the world around me. He was my anchor.
When his lips were on mine It was only us and our breathing.
I can't say this is a pleasant experience. Not uncomfortable but I guess It'll take time to get used to.
Its feels as if gravity isn't there but you're not floating either.

Not only was we making out he was seriously wanting to immediately go to the next step. New territory? HA! Talk about a whole another continent.
Yeah, I know about sex. Just because I'm a shut in does not mean I haven't educated myself in the basics of human copulation. :P
I want to make this clear. I knew with absolute certainty that he would never hurt me. If I was ever going to lose my virginity it would be with him. But, I was not ready then. I had just made-out for the first time, excuse me for not completely not jumping into the sack with him. I got scared and shed a few tears because of it. It was the first time I cried in front of him. God, it was a first for a lot of things that day.
Also, it was the first time I felt so attractive and sexy. I felt wanted. Good feeling.

It is weird that I feel like I was being manipulated by him. Not sure if he knew or not.
Every time I would say no he would kiss me and I go back into the blissful nothingness.
Sounds bad? Yes
Sounds creepy? Yes
Though once I felt his hands on the waist of my jeans I knew no amount of kissing would get me to willingly undress.
He looked so high/drunk on lust. Not actually drunk.
His pupils were so dilated! His eyes are dark brown.
Dilated pupils on dark eyes are difficult to see!

No matter how many time I mull it over in my head I still don't know what he was trying to pull with that stunt. He wouldn't say.


Since then I haven't spoken to him. He hasn't reached out to me either.
I wouldn't know what to say.
"Thank you for the great make-out session but we're friends so..."
"Sorry for being so damn selfish to want to know what its like kissing someone back."
"Sorry I didn't stop you before it got out of hand."
"DON'T EVER GODDAMN PLAY WITH MY FEELINGS AGAIN!" This last one is what I want to say but how do I say it without sounding like a hypocrite.
I feel like a hypocrite because I didn't stop him. I though we put whatever feelings we had of each other behind us but arugh!! @_@
I might be over thinking it. He might not be even thinking about me. I don't want to think the worst of him.
Its a good thing he's traveling this summer and away from a constant internet connection. It gives me time to really think and forget.
I'll forget it ever happen.
Yes! I'll do that!
He was reckless and I was weak. Crisis averted! I think...